Afterlife: A Divine Comedy by Donald Denoon

By Donald Denoon

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Extra info for Afterlife: A Divine Comedy

Sample text

A serious crisis came with my first meal. I knew about food groups and the need for a diet to include them all, but I had not considered that protein often comes in the form of butchered animals. The consumption of protein therefore requires one to cut up slices of corpse and ingest bite-sized chunks of it, while expressing delight to everyone at the table. For some time I tried not to eat at all, but that is out of the question when one has a body to maintain. Some people choose never to eat protein in animal form, but they are seen as hypersensitive.

It is, for example, important that I avoid public transport, especially at busy times, and I have to exercise great care when travelling alone in elevators. After several unpleasant encounters with strangers in buses, I have devised an under-garment that is based on the idea of a chastity belt. This protects my genitals from wandering hands. Even hospitals are dangerous, despite the chaste clinical style that nurses and doctors adopt. I was completely unprepared 30 afterLIFE to respond to my first sexual proposition.

Sympathy? I’d have sympathised with anyone in that predicament, even one who didn’t look like a damsel in distress. That was in my mind as I murmured reassurance. Heartfelt but incoherent; ‘Hold on 52 afterLIFE please, Althea … Shit! So sorry. Stupid of me, I know exactly who. Of course I do, you’re Althea’s sister Winfield. Christ: I mean Winifred. Winifred Jolliffe. Of course. ’ The perfect recall is the result of the blistering pain of that moment. In 10 seconds or less, how often can you offend a girl?

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